Ca adolescent, m-am intrebat de mai multe ori de ce vorbesc in engleză atunci când discut cu cei pe care îi cunosc, folosind cuvinte de genu’ ,,dude”, ,,man”, ,,hei”, ,,bye” etc. Acest tip de limbaj a devenit la un moment dat enervat pentru mine pentru că am ajuns să cunosc mai multe cuvinte in engleză decât în română, ceea ce nu mi se pare în regulă deoarece consider că limba pe care ar trebui să o cunoşti cel mai bine este cea a ţării în care te naşti. N-am nimic cu engleza, ba chiar îmi place, doar că în momentul în care toată lumea o foloseşte în mod abuziv, devine foarte obositoare.

Dacă ar fi fost discuţii inteligente, nu cred că m-ar fi deranjat, dar din moment ce foloseam ,,what the fuck” sau ,,Jesus” odată la 27 de secunde, nu prea aveam ce să învăţ.

Spuneam că am ajuns să cunosc mai multe cuvinte in engleză decât în română. Da… pe lângă ,,fuck” şi ,,shit” am învăţat şi cuvinte adevărate, dar nu din discuţiile cu prietenii:)). Există şi alte surse, şi nu mă refer neapărat la cărţi.

Îm fine… am ajuns la concluzia că mai toţi adolescenţii (inclusiv eu) folosesc altă limbă din simplul motiv că este mai uşor să te exprimi în altă limbă decât cea pe care ai invăţat-o când erai mic. Nu ştiu de ce, dar asta e impresia cu care am rămas.

Şi aşa ajung la ce urmează.

Totul a pornit de la un status de messenger (prima strofă) acum vreun an. Îmi amintesc că sor’mea a fost prima care m-a intrebat dacă versurile sunt ale mele. M-a pocnit inspiraţiunea şi pe mine… ce să zic… şi incercarea mea jalnică de a scrie ceva a evoluat până la stadiul ăsta. Chestia asta a mai suferit modificări în timp, am mai adăugat sau modificat versuri unde mi s-a părut necesar. Nu vă spun despre ce este vorba. Vă las să vă chinuiţi.

Mă consider o persoană egoistă din simplul motiv că ţin ce este cu adevărat bun pentru mine. Sper că vă daţi seama că nu mă refer la ceva material. M-am gândit să dau acest egoism la o parte in seara asta şi să vă prezint… o chestie… un mozaic de stări sufleteşti ce se poate identifica cu mintea mea. sper să înţelegeţi.

Fiţi atenţi la ghilimele, unde încep şi unde se închid. Cratima(—) separă …replicile să le numesc aşa… intre ele - pagina nu-mi permitea să las spaţiu (să vă fie mai uşor să citiţi).

Un lucru vă rog: dacă aveţi ceva deştept de spus, vă rog să-mi scrieţi. Dacă e ceva de genu’ ,,nice’’ sau ,,wow’’, nu vă mai obosiţi.

—

A raven’s revenge

,,Little creature of the night

Come and steal my soul tonight.

Watch me bleed and watch me die

’cause I have helped you with your lie.

Watch me suffer, I’m in pain,

Watch me struggle in vain.’’

—

,,Do not weep, my child, don’t cry.

This was not your lie.

Do not think that this is over.

Now… go and cover your father’s grave…

Do not consider yourself his slave.

Bury him alive I speak

For you shall reach a new peak and shall be closer to the purpose

you seek.

Bury him in ash and flame,

Bury him in your own shame,

Dry shame, twisted into fear,

For you did not listen to your seer.’’

—

,,Haunt my dreams. Dear shadow, please

fight against my sanity .

fight against my soul, my heart,

until I beg for mercy.’’

—

,,The fake fought that fighing is futile

will only make you stronger….

I want to hear your soul’s scream

being slaughtered to silence…’’

—

,,You shall only hear a silent scream

Trapped in a mortal’s voice

Only to be heard by those who have lost their phisical form…

I wish for a way to have this sin undone.’’

—

,,Feel your heart pounding

straight through your chest.

Feel this blade of guilt

ripping your breast.

This sin won’t be avenged,

nor will it be forgiven,

you will feel yourself locked

as if inside a prison.

Your spirit will never find its peace

and will be left on this earth to waste.

You will be left to watch over the swans

Which fly with such grace…..

You will learn to love your hatred

and live with it.

Your heart will stop beating

just to feed on it

leaving behind a stained conscience,

a result of your pride.

You, in the end, will become

my death’s bride.’’

—

,,Confusing thoughts circle through my mind.

They make me beg for mercy… I’m blind.

You speak of death, shadow…

I want to know more.

Tell me… how can I bring death

to such a marvellous foe…?’’

—

,,Your soul almost begs itself taken…

It bleeds so beautifully…

Now hear my riddle,

you creature so forsaken…

When the moon shines down

and torches light

neighter ghost nor gloom

shall fight our might.

I shall reach into the deepest,

darkest gaunt of goul

And find this existances’ virtue.

Reach back into the light

and find an Angel sleeping tight.

He will tell you what to do.

Follow the path that leads….

…to you.

Find your sanity being ripped to shred

by this demon you call friend.

Kill the thought of fighting a friend

and let yourself be ripped to shred

by this demon you call friend…

Friend or foe, can’t tell the difference,

Your only foe is your own conscience.

Enter a world known by few.

I shall find myself living through you.

At the sight of a flaming arrow tip in the sky

My soul shall be vanquished and I shall die.

A Phoenix shall rise from the ashes of Hell.

Its scream will be as loud as a Cathedral’s bell.

It will die and reborn with every cursed day.

All living mortals shall be swept away

Because through the death of an Angel a new age begins…

Be it solitary, be it evil, be it friend with the Saints…!?!

God has forsaken you as he forsakes all living things in the end!

Your time on this earth is not yours to spend…

Your lover’s breath will burn you,

The image in his eyes will stun you.

You will see a shredded reflection of what you once were

Almost too much for your sanity to bare.

Lust, fury, regret and desire,

All of these shall stand united through fire…

Hold hands, rest in fire,

Take down the walls of desire.

Death, convulsions, frantic look,

Regret you feel for the life you took.

Pale moon shining upon skin,

Burning flesh like the fury within,

Fury forged in fear, forsake

the day this life you decided to take.

Overwhelming lust, control

this feeling you can no more.

Your blood washing my blade’s rust

Twist this blade in wound I must.’’

—

,,Who are you to judge my sins?

Who gave you this right?

Be you Angel, be you Saint?

Do you bare the burden of the divine might?’’

—

,,Brother of the fallen, fiend of friendship,

Sent by the God I refused to worship.

Sent to save souls from Satan’s seal,

Cursed by Satan, forged in fear,

Forged in fire, fear, forsake

the day I lost my innocence… I was weak.

Torn by Purity,

I fell into infinity.

Rising shadow, grey aura, feel

My new shape forged with such skill.

His seal forever carved into my skin

Burning flesh like the fury within.

Playing my games on the wall,

I reveal myself only in the fall.

Running from purity, in vain,

Seeing children play in the rain.

Choosing a new way,

Finding a new pray,

I am not the demon here,

I’m the saviour, my dear,

Seeking sins by Satan’s seal,

Seven sins you have and feel.’’

—

,,My heart grows cold,

My hands grow dry,

A teardrop falls

on my left thigh.

Your grey consuming my soul’s essence,

Feeling weak in your presence.

There is no room to question,

There is no use to ask for redemption.

Until the end of the fall

This sin will have burnt my soul.

I shall watch the swans perish

in the fires that burn so brightly

At the end of this

ancient quest so mighty.

I shall watch my kindred kindle

And feel our souls mingle.

Lover, loved you, love no more,

Overwhelming lust control.

Giving up my soul to a flame,

There is nothing else for which I crave.

Your words echo in my head,

Harmonic echo, shielding web.

You are not the demon here,

You’re the saviour, my dear,

Seeking sins by Satan’s seal,

Seven sins I have and feel…

seven sins I have… and

feel… ‘’

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